February 2012
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I dont like to share
The ex called me tonight about the box of his personal items that I am taking to my lawyer tomorrow. He was very passive agressive. Basically playing the victim— saying that he gave me everything, just to see his kids. WOW!! What reality is he in. I just don’t understand him. I am worried about how he will leverage this to the kids. Its hard knowing that he will have them 4 days a...
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First visitation drop off
The kids have not spent the night with their Dad since Oct of 2010. I didn’t know what exactly would happen when it came to visitation. He has obviously not exercised any of his parenting time. Now that we are divorced, would he?
In all honesty, I didn’t really want him to. The kids are so depressed and stressed at just the thought. I know they need to see him, but I hate that they...
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The last of Us-- now its Him and I
I wondered when this would happen. When all the stress, worry and and overall crazy schedule would take me over. I am so sick. I have not been this sick in years. I am trying to take this last bit of my day off to rest and recoup.
Its been forever since I have truly written, I have tried and work through my emotions in my head. I haven’t had the energy to even get anything down on paper. I...
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I miss writing...
I need an outlet. I haven’t had anytime to write—or read, even. I have had so many things happen in a short period of time. I need to catch up. I plan on letting it all out to tumblr tomorrow. I am excited- yoga pants, hoodie, reality tv and a laptop. Living the life :)
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January 2012
13 posts
Unpretty
I’m having one of those days where I feel unattractive. Not just a simple bad hair day type of thing, but literally feeling like I will never find a date because I am hideous.
It’s funny because I know that what U am saying is ridiculous. I am convincing myself that I will never find another person before I have even ventured out of my own mind to let in the idea of dating.
...
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“When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting...”
– (via kevritch)
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Truthful Tuesday
1. I havent talked to my lawyer in quite awhile. I think about it everyday and know that I should reach out, but I dont have the energy. That trial date is inching closer and I keep ignoring it. I want to be done, but I am too tired to participate in my own rescue.
2. Im really disliking friends in relationships these days. Especially newer relationships. I hate the fact that I feel like I...
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“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does...”
– Maya Angelou (via julie911)
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It's been awhile...
Oh tumblr, how I miss thee. I have been so busy since the first of the year. I took on a new project at work that has been kicking my butt. So I havent had much time to write or catch up on my favorite blogs. I will be traveling to Seattle next week for a big corporate rally. I really like Seattle, wish I had more than 3 days there…and even a few hours during those days of free time to roam...
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“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave...”
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Free Bird
‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now, And this bird you can not change.
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I will be a survivor, soon enough
The aftermath of divorce is so difficult for people to understand. I find that even those who have been through divorce personally, lack the ability to truly understand what divorce can do to someone or the shadow it can cast on their life. Maybe it’s the fact that everyone’s situation is so drastically different that creates this difficulty.
Lately I have noticed an influx of statements like;...
“Buy a blank notebook. Draw a huge heart on the cover. Don’t write anything...”
– Gonna definitely do this! (via lotusgalramblings)
Me too! Me too! Count me in…
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December 2011
49 posts
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Destined to go to trial...
From my lawyer—-
“Attached is a letter received from “the ex’s” attorney. There are so many parts of this letter that I find ridiculous that it will be best to talk about it on the phone”
Greeeeaaat— one of things that was ridiculous is that I agreed to take ALL of the debt and he would not take my retirement. We would basically end up a wash (actually I...
I am officially an idiot
I was so stupid when me and my husband separated. I was so utterly unprepared and naive that I make myself sick thinking about it. How could I ever, ever have believed that he wanted NOTIHNG from the house. How could ever have taken him at his word. Part of me didnt even believe we would get divorced, the other part of me had NO idea what the court process would look like. Our marriage had no true...
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“You may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control...”
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The visit
My Mother in Law came down to visit with the girls. My ex decided to come after all, which made the girls happy. As much as they don’t like to admit it….they really do miss him. Holidays really bring back memories and highlight the obvious change in our relationships. The visit went so-so. The time with my MIL was great, I never doubted that. She is really nice and sweet on the surface, her image...
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Christmas year two
Well I made it through my second set of Holidays post separation—
The few days leading up to Christmas, I started feeling it…like a spiral, I started spinning. I got really quiet, felt extremely lonely and was able to started crying at the drop of the hat. I don’t know whats worse—feeling that way, or realizing you are out of control and unable to stop it. The lack of...
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2012 will be my year
My wish for 2012-
For every tear I shed in 2011, I have two smiles in 2012.
For every moment I felt hopeless in 2011, I feel strong in 2012.
For every time I felt discouraged in 2011, I feel enpowered in 2012
& For every time I felt slighted, or like the world was against me in 2011, I reach out my hand to someone in need in 2012
I am taking this year head on and making it mine!
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“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but...”
– Lance Armstrong (via quote-book)
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Striving for this...
Having self-esteem and liking yourself means others can’t affect you. No one can say anything negative about you and hurt you because you are okay with yourself.
We are dependent only on ourselves for feeling good about our lives!
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“One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you...”
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Tumblr love
Thank so much to everyone who offered support when I was having “one of those days”…It helped me more than you know get through some really rough hours. I did come home, crawl under some blankets and cry my eyes out. I needed it though, feel much much better now. :)
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“Without suffering there would be no compassion”
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One of those days....
I am definitely having one of those days where anything and everything doesn’t work out, or feels wrong. I am emotional, tired and in pain (slight muscle tear in my arm), I just want to go home crawl into bed with a big blanket and cry myself to sleep. But instead I am at work and being miss boss lady means I can’t show my emotion. I can’t have an off day. I have to perform and...
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“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love,...”
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“When your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re...”
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lotusgalramblings replied to your photo
Super Sunday night hug to you!
And a hug right back to you! Hope you had a great Sunday
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“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till...”
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“We deny that we’re tired, we deny that we’re scared, we deny how...”